Hudy XXb

Chapter XXb - The Still-Hunt: The Wreckers Disarmed
[this story was not in the 1841 booklet]

The merry companions of the Quarterclift deemed at first that he was playing off one of his usual wild tricks, as they had neither seen nor heard signal to justify the alarm; but they had forgotten the highly-cultivated natural powers of their man: for never did Indian or backwoods-man in the wilds of America - no, not even "Hawks-eye" himself, the beau-ideal of all hunters - possess a clearer sight, a more sensitive or correct ear, than Hudy McGuigan. The event proved the fact - the wreckers were upon them. For a hundred horns were now heard bellowing, and a hundred voices from house, hill and tree-top were shouting "The mad dog! - The mad dog!", announcing in the accustomed manner the near approach of the revenue officers. In an instant the sports were suspended, and Hudy, with enthusiasm wild, eager, irrepressible, jumping upon a crag, commenced (more like a general than an aide-de-camp) to harangue the troops:

"An-anamon-dioul! they're coming! are yez ready for them boys? - bad luck to them, I don't know have they the informer wid them."

"Aisy a little, Hudy," said Dick Keating; "step down, if you plaise; this, you know, is my part of the play."

And with cool determined manly courage beaming in his handsome countenance, he addressed the fine body of young fellows who had appointed him their chief, while in the excitement of the moment the terrors of the boccagh, and all interest in his fate, if not quite forgotten were totally suppressed or neglected.

"And now boys, I'm just about to learn what mettle there is in Ulsther. I hope you'll be as true men this day as my own Munsther can boast of; but does every one of you know his peculiar post, and the duty he has bound himself to perform?"

"To be sure we do!" was shouted in reply.

"That is well; but remember before all things that we spill no blood, if possible. Be steady, and we may avoid that evil. And, the better to succeed, I will repeat the order of the proceeding. On Hudy's first whistle, let two guns be fired on the right, two in the centre, and two on the left; and that, I think with Hudy, will bother them a bit. On the second whistle, let every fourth gun, in regular succession, be fired over the vagabonds' heads; and then, I trust, they will be nearly ready to surrender. If not, on the third whistle every man is to start to his feet, level his piece, and with deliberate aim cover his bird, while a dead silence must be observed. But mark me - draw not a trigger till you have my own express orders. This display, in my mind, will settle the affair. Should such not be the case, and should resistance be offered, you must fire with deadly precision. Do you all clearly understand this?"

"Yes, yes," was re-echoed through the ranks.

"And will you all stand by your neighbour Atty McGeough, like kind-hearted fearless Irishmen?"

"Aye, every sowl of us, till death!"

"Then Munsther against the world, I say!"

Hudy was all this time burning with impatience; and taking the word out of Keating's mouth, with his accustomed bound and scream he sung out:

"Then Ulsther against the world! and Munsther into the bargain! say I. Whew, yer sowls! bate off to your lairs, and to blazes wid the gaugers and the curse-o'-God vagabone wreckers."

And the boys obeying the mandate, two minutes saw the scene occupied only by the general and his aide.

"Capityal again, Dick - bad luck to the finer fellows in seven counties."

Till now, all had gone on smoothly in the still-house, and considerable progress had been made in the work by Atty McGeough and his assistants; but, aware of the approach of the gaugers, he came running out in great trepidation, and exclaimed,

"Arrah, boys darlin's, what will I do?"

"Go an wid your work, you omadhon," said Hudy.

"An' the gaugers at hand! They'll saize all I have in the wide world!"

"Bad luck to the dhrop they'll carry away this day, barrin' what you plaise to thrait them to."

"In thrath, Hudy acushla, an' that'll be aizy carried. I'm thinking it'd be hardly as much as'd blind a midge's eye!"

"Well divil a more'll fall to their share; so go into your work, laving the rest to myself and Dick, and don't show your purty face again till it's all over, for the balls'll be whistlin' here before long, and you mightn't find them soft customers. By my sowl, there's more music nor merriment in them, afther all."

On Dick's added recommendation, Atty retired; and the Clift, indulging his penchant for fun and devilment, for want of another object began in his usual dry style to administer fresh comfort to the boccagh:

"And how do you find yourself, masther darlin'? - Bedad you appear comfortably sated. Faix it's yourself has the bright view of the country. The divil a betther, barrin' you were perched on the tave-lacht of Slieve Gallion."

"Och let me down, Mr McGuigan dear - let me down, for there's the wreckers coming round the base of the hill, and they'll be here in less than twenty minutes."

"Will they, by my sowl! Whew! divil welcome the strangers. Then stay where you are, Brien Boccagh mavourneen. You're of more use nor I thought afther all. But Dick darlin', where's your gun? Can't you fire one?"

"Yes, with as steady a hand and thrue an aim as any man in Ulsther."

"Then by the powers! I can fit you."

And stepping into the still-house, he shortly returned with a double-barrelled fowling-piece, and presenting her to Dick said -

"There, ma bouchal - there's the lady you may trust to - there's just the price of two wreckers' lives in her this blissed minute. And there," said he, handing him six ball-cartridges, "there's three mouthfulls apiece for her, if she should happen to have an empty stomach."

"But where's your own gun, Hudy?"

"There she's, by the powers! Black Bess for ivir! Augh it's herself could turn a bagnit, or shivir a broad sword, before you'd say thrap-sticks. Whew yer sowl! you'll see what the blackthorn'll do among the wreckers before sunset." And with one of his wild screams he twirled it round his finger with the rapidity of lightning, and with all the grace and effect of an Indian juggler.

In the meantime, the first division of the wreckers, under the command of the supervisor, was advancing, and the schoolmaster vainly continued his beseechings to be removed from his perilous seat.

"Go, take the poor fellow down, Hudy; we'll have plenty of other work on hand immediately."

But the Clift rather pettishly replied, "Divil a foot indeed - bad luck to it, man, you would spoil all; don't you see, he'll lade the vagabones into the snare."

"No matter for that - they may fire upon the creature."

"Divil a fear's! but happy-go-lucky there he'll stay, or find his own way down."

By this time the yeomen had advanced considerably up the glen, and seeing a man perched on "the devil's tether-stake", naturally concluded he was placed there as a spy upon their movements; and combining this circumstance with the intelligence received from the informer, the officer doubted not that the prize was within his grasp. History tells us that these wreckers were ferocious ruffians, and one of them even more reckless than the rest was determined to add another proof to the thousands already recorded by blazing roof-trees, ransacked houses, murdered victims, and in a word the perpetration of the whole catalogue of crimes that brand the chronicles of freebooters. Well, this worthy coolly examined his piece, adjusted the priming, took aim - a flash! - an explosion! - and the leaden messenger whizzed through the boccagh's - hat!

"Murder! murder!" roared he on the pedestal.

"Bad luck to the villains, they have shot him," exclaimed the Quarterclift, with mingled feelings of compunction and revenge, as he bounded upon a crag to reconnoitre the coming foe. Keating followed his example, in order to decide his own course of action and prevent any premature outbreak of his friends, who were maddening spectators of the unprovoked outrage, and whose anxious eyes followed their leader's motions. He had scarcely perceived that the wreckers were yet too distant for his purpose, when a loud joyous laugh and a firm grasp of his arm attracted his attention.

"Look at him Dick! look at him slidthering down the 'tether-stake'! - bad luck to the hair of his head's hurted afther all! Blood-an-oundhers! did you ever see anything so like a blown frog?"

And sure enough the grotesque figure and ludicrous gestures of the little man in his endeavours to descend - struggling hard for life, his feet and hands extended, attempting in vain to clasp the huge pillar, presenting to view merely his head, short neck, and broad squat body - furnished a striking resemblance to an individual of that amphibious race, whilome celebrated by the immortal Homer for their valorous achievements against the mice. Fortunately however for the boccagh, he found himself without personal injury once more upon the green sod; and, not losing a moment, ran for it as fast as his infirmities and sorely rent unmentionables permitted.

The exit of the pedagogue was the ominous prelude to the entrance of the wreckers, who found themselves arrived at their destination, but yet who looked like so many hounds at fault. The informer had fairly directed them to the charmed spot; but it was evident from their confusion he had not entrusted them with the important secret. Alas! for them there was no talismanic spell to uncover the secrets of nature - no "open sesame" to unbolt the magic entrance, or place within their grasp the treasures of the invisible still-house. With that rapid perception so characteristic of our hero, he saw at a glance their true position, and could not repress his ruling passion - the desire of administering consolation.

"Good morrow gentlemen, 'cead mili falte' to you, kindly! It's myself that's proud to see you. Were you afther looking for anything this darlin' morning? Faix you'll be wearied afther your long thramp. You would be the betther of a rest just now. Throth you look as if you had lost your way. And I'm sure it's my own four bones would be plaised to show you the road back, as your leader has deserted you."

Nettled by the cool sarcasm of the Quarterclift, and smarting under the now certain disappointment, the officer gruffly said, "Silence, unmannered dog!"

"There's my thanks now! a purty return for my kindness! - faith it's yourself undherstands politeness! But gauger acushla, he's a poor dog that can't both bark and bite. Whew! bad luck to it man, you can't be good when you have no grah for the dogs; but I'm tould there's a raison for everything; and maybe it's becase 'the mad dog' was out before you this mornin', and spoil'd your sport; but you may as well be off wid you, for, as we sometimes say to the beggars, 'there's nothing for you the day!'" And he laughed uproariously and insultingly in the supervisor's face.

Stung to the quick, that personage haughtily replied, "We'll let you see that shortly."

"Musha, long life to your honour for that same! - Sure it'll be a cure for sore eyes, and you parsave my own's quite red wid weepin' for the bad luck you have had this blissed mornin'."

The shrug of the shoulders, the quaint look, the "je ne sais quoi" of his "tout ensemble", was not to be borne; and, writhing under the punishment, the enraged officer vociferated -

"Begone, you savage! else I'll whiz a bullet through your brains."

"Thank your honour - I'm sure I'm behouldin' to you, but there's not the laist occasion for your kindness. Besides, you might be sorry for it aftherwards, and for one raison - that's a game two sides can play at," and turning to his companion with burning impatience he said,

"Dick darlin', will I whistle on the boys?"

"Do so," said Keating, and he placed himself so as to observe the effect on both officer and men. The signal flew on the wings of the wind. The appointed shots from the right, middle and left of the concealed party rung in reply, and Keating's expectations were more than realized. The ruffian wreckers, that could have gallantly fired the widow's lone cabin, and danced like exulting demons round the blaze, saw themselves completely entrapped; and as is the case with all dastards, instead of exhibiting any sustaining energy, they quailed before their fate, and the animal (for they possessed no moral) courage oozed out at their finger ends; some screaming through sheer terror, others, similarly influenced, unconsciously dropping their muskets to the earth. The officer stood perfectly astounded, and Keating, seizing his time, advanced leisurely towards him, his fowling-piece thrown carelessly across his arm.

"Sir," said he, " I advise you, while you may, to return with your men, and peaceably leave this glen. Another ten minutes and you will not be permitted."

"It cannot be, Sir. I have come here on proper information, and I must and shall do my duty. There is an illicit still at work contiguous to this spot, and I shall endeavour to find it."

"Look you Sir, I shall hold short parley. There is a still at work within twenty yards of your stand - you shall not find it - you shall not attempt to find it - you have already had intimation that we are prepared for you. If you wish for further proof I shall afford it, and demonstrate a dangerous fact, namely that your own life and the lives of those under your command are suspended on the breath of that poor idiot."

"Bad luck to such compliments, Dick darlin'," said the deeply offended Clift. "By the powers! for a less affront I would smash fifty wreckers any day - but naboclish, this is no time to differ among ourselves, so give it to the gauger genteel."

"Well I beg your pardon, my brave fellow; but let the boys hear the second signal."

Hudy, with much glee, complied. Whew! and every fourth gun rung consecutively, from right to left of the concealed party, showing the perfectness of the snare, and the full extent of the danger into which the military had fallen. The officer was crest-fallen. Hudy, like a mountain-goat, was bounding with delight. The wreckers were exhibiting a pusillanimous desire for revenge, and Keating continued -

"I see, Sir, your men are indeed what they are esteemed - ferocious cowards; beware of them. A hostile movement even from one, and your life and theirs, to a man, will be forfeited instantaneously. One hundred muskets cover you this moment; and you may judge, from the mercy you have been accustomed to show, what you have to expect if you force us into action. Surrender then - lay down your arms and ammunition. Your persons will be respected - your firelocks and pouches will be forwarded to Cookstown; but only hesitate, and abide the consequence."

The supervisor saw the necessity of accepting the terms, and, after a brief speech to the yeomen, the arms &c. were yielded up; and though Hudy removed them like magic yet he could not repress the gibe and the jeer.

"There now boys darlin'! in throth you'll go lighter home nor ye come abroad, and sure you ought to be thankful for that same; bad luck to it, but that splore was easy ended. Whew!" and twirl went Black Bess, "by my sowl, gauger, you ought to cut the ears off the informer the first time you meet him, for sending you home wid your finger in your mouth, afther your long thramp - bad luck to him!"

Wounded by his disappointment, and roused by the Clift's cutting irony, the wrath of that personage burst all bounds, and he exclaimed to Keating -

"If you be a gentleman Sir, or if there be one among your concealed party, do you or he accept one of these pistols and exchange a shot with me at twelve paces distant, if you dare."

Dick, coolly advancing, replied, "There are men of true courage amongst us in every respect your equal, but we loathe the spilling of blood; neither do we, under the sanction of vile laws, thirst for the property of our unoffending neighbour; nor, when baffled in our hopes of plunder, do we exhibit a deadly desire of revenge."

Then, quickly placing his hand on the supervisor's breast, and with the touch and skill of a practised wrestler touching him with his foot, he laid him full length on the green sward, disarmed him in a moment, and discharged his pistols in the air, quietly observing - "You, Sir, were included in the capitulation."

"Whew! Capityal, by my sowl, Dick darlin'! Well, you are 'the broth of a boy'. Bad luck to me but that's the clanest set-down he ivir got in his life. The divil a man in the seven counties, barrin' myself, could do the job nater."

And giving subordination to the winds, he whistled for the third time, roaring out to his friends - "Start to your pivots, yer sowls! show the wreckers your faces, and see if the vagabones can stand the look of honest men."

The third signal was obeyed with admirable precision. The whole party started to their feet, and with levelled muskets proved to the officer and men the danger that a timely surrender had averted. Yet could they not divest themselves of the terror which the present hostile array of the peasantry naturally created; but a wave of Keating's hand reassured them, as the party again sunk into their ambuscade, and as he solemnly declared that their safety depended solely on their circumspection and modest behaviour.

But, just on the moment, the horns were again heard to sound, and the cry of "mad dog" once more rung over hill and dale. Dick rather clearly understood that a reinforcement of the military was approaching, and felt anything but comfortable. He saw that his victory was yet insecure, and that blood in torrents might be shed before sunset; but Hudy, ever himself, with presence of mind equal to his agility, ran up the "tether-stake" like a squirrel to ascertain the true cause of the alarm, and the full extent of the danger.

Degraded and ill-treated as Ireland has been, she has produced many great men. Hundreds could be named, but a few will serve the purpose - Grattan, Curran, Plunket, O'Connell, Wellington. These, it will not be denied, are capital specimens in their line - but what are they all in comparison with Hudy McGuigan!! Could any of them ride a bull, or bamboozle a Scotch jockey, in the same prime style? The Duke of Wellington on a bull with his face to the tail? - baugh! he couldn't keep his seat for three jumps! But had our hero, with ninety-nine companions, and mounted as he was at Moneymore fair, been engaged at the battle of Waterloo, there would have been no ten hours' fight. Whew! what a splore! by the powers! they would have made short work of it. The French cuirassiers would never have charged a hollow square. What could withstand such cavalry!

This, however, is rather beside the subject - but, to return, it must be admitted that no man in any age or nation ever resembled Hudy so closely as his great contemporary, Napoleon Buonaparte. The same eagle eye - the same bold daring - the same contempt of consequences - the same all-grasping genius - the same intuitive knowledge of relative positions - the same darting to conclusions - the same rapid power of thought - the same whirlwind motions in the execution of their correctly-calculated plans - the same love of glory - the same morbid sensibilities, that urged them to spurn the idea of an equal, and to occupy alone the gaze of an astonished world - the same ... But to account for their greatness and hit off the parallel with one dash - both were Quarterclifts!

When Hudy had gained the summit of the tether-stake, he perceived with evident delight another party of the wreckers, headed by the district gauger, gallantly mounted, winding round the base of the hill, clearly on the same scent as the first and heading directly for the glen. He stood for some minutes wrapt in thought, apparently maturing his plan of operations, and at once determined no longer to play second fiddle. He descended rapidly, his eye giving forth its wild lightnings, usual under deep excitement, and taking his companion aside said,

"Bad luck to me, Dick, but there's another crop of the redcoats sprung up beyant there, and maybe it wouldn't answer to let them come here at all; so take care of the birds you have got in the net, and by the powers I'll spoil the sport of the new-comers. You'll see how nately I'll cross their scent. Bad scran to me if I stay longer here, but you'll take the coal out of my pipe intirely."

And off went the great-coat and shoes; then, tying a still-head-and-arm with a good rope to his naked body, and twirling "Black Bess" round his finger in his own peculiarly graceful and scientific style, with a "Whew yer sowls!" and "Here goes!" he darted off like an arrow in the direction of the approaching party.

"Bad luck to the omadhon!" exclaimed Keating - "He's running into their very teeth!"

"Never fear," said Atty McGeough, who had made his appearance on the second alarm, "Never fear - there's more in Hudy nor you think. - Did you ivir see the curlew wiling the thraveller away from her nest? That's just his notion now."

And the event proved the correctness of the prognostic, for at the very moment the party was about entering the glen, Hudy contrived to attract their notice, and scudding off to the level country, in less than five minutes had every man of them, like a pack of hounds on the "view halloo", in full mouth after him. At first he bolted off at a rapid rate, then glanced around - with a correct eye measured his distance, and with happy skill calculated the fitting speed. For some time he carried on briskly, neither gaining nor losing ground, but keeping the pursuers on their mettle. As they flagged he flagged; as they increased their speed so did he; and to the astonishment of Keating and all other beholders he ran in a zig-zag course; but Hudy

Kent what was what fu' brawly.

His object was to weaken their powers of mischief-making by scattering them over a large extent of country, as well as to lay them open to a sound drubbing from the peasantry - in both of which views he was eminently successful. All this time the gauger, on his proud prancer, kept as near as possible to the men, who after a fruitless run of half an hour were becoming rather disheartened, and sadly out of temper - disappointment sorts badly with yeoman as well as other folks, and therefore did two of these worthies, as if animated by one spirit, determine on shortening the chase. They levelled their pieces, took deliberate aim. Flash! - whiz! but by a rapid and most fortunate change of his direction, the two bullets went bang through the arm of the still instead of the Clift's body.

"Bad luck to such love tokens," cried Hudy; "by my sowl! boys, I must larn you to keep your distance." And, increasing his speed, he bounded like an antelope across the country, leaving, in five minutes, all danger from the bullets far behind.

This page was last updated 7 Nov 2018