Hudy VIII

Chapter VIII - Defeat of the Professor

Edmund Burke, with all his reputed cleverness, was on some occasions a bosthoon! No man ever cut more strange vagaries. Blinded by the light within, he would adopt an absurdity, and pet it and cherish it, and dress it out in the luxuriance of his imagination with all the ornate tinsel of a spoiled girl's doll; and to "give a local habitation and a name" to the creature of his own fancy, he would talk at the world and write at the world and bother the world, till the world would laugh at him for his pains. Now because a parcel of "sans culottes" Frenchmen (no better than they should be, but made what they were by the long-continued tyranny of their kings and nobles), because they, in the day of just though awful retribution, without the restraint of morals or knowledge, "cried havock, and let slip the dogs of war" - and because a beautiful woman (no better than she should be) fell a victim to their strongly-stimulated savagery, this same Edmund Burke, in the plenitude of his "devoted loyalty to rank and sex", exclaimed "that the age of chivalry had passed, and the glory of Europe was extinguished for ever!" Poh! there was as much truth in the prophecy as - but naboclish!

Burke should have known better; for at this very time the fame of his brilliant countryman Hudy McGuigan was rising rapidly, like a meteor (to quote Burke again) "above the horizon", and spreading a lustre round the earth not to be eclipsed by the more dazzling but less steady light of his great contemporary Napoleon Buonaparte. Now, having proved that Burke was wrong - viz that neither "the age of chivalry was gone" nor "the glory of Europe departed for ever" - it may be as well to return to the scene where we left the fencing master and the Clift ready for renewing the contest.

"Whew! yer soul, be an yer guard - fair play's the word, so here goes."

And rapidly did Black Bess cut the figure of 8 across her master's face. A feint - a guard - a pass - and smack! but the oaken cudgel caught her cleverly in descent, and fairly diverted her course; yet quick as the lightning's flash she recovered, and hung in slanting direction - the daring St George covering every point in the Clift's person.

"Well by the powers that wuz clane and nately done! Bad scran to me, masther, but you've a steady eye and a ready hand! Divil a man in the barony but one, an' that's my ould father, could have catched that clip!"

"And upon my sowl young man, to do you justice, I nivir saw a more desperate aim nor a betther recovered guard, and I've seen many in my time. But it's my turn now to attack, and it's as well to tell ye as send ye word, I'm detarmed not to miss ye."

The Clift's forte lay in defence; and like all young men (we might perhaps include the old) he had little inclination "to place his lighted candle under a bushel". Heated with the exercise, and pleased with the opportunity of exhibiting against such an opponent, he entreated a moment's delay; then throwing a plough that lay in a corner of the barn right across the floor, he placed himself before it, and in that dangerous position gallantly invited the attack. The master and pupils were bewildered: they could not divine his motives; but he broke in upon their imaginings with -

"Come an my ould boy. Sure you've great advantage now: you may aisy tumble me over the plough, do ye mind."

The attack did come, with all the skill of a practised fencer - with all the force and energy of a strong man in the prime of life - and with all the spleen of a professor baffled at his own weapons. The assailant's passion was up; and as Sir Walter Scott describes a similar scene:

He showered his blows like wintry rain;
But as firm rock, or castle roof,
Against the wintry shower is proof,
The foe, invulnerable still,
Foiled his wild rage by steady skill.

Yes, there the Clift stood, laughing in his opponent's face, now complimenting, now ridiculing, his powers, but every word tending to irritate. At length he seemed to give ground - the assailant pressed - whew! - a bound, and backwards over the plough he went. McLaughlin stared with stupid gaze: the pupils cheered; and Hudy, with his usual cutting good-nature, invited the further attacks of his antagonist.

"Come an now my ould buck! How d'ye like that bit of a thrick? eh, master agrah."

The professor did come on with reckless fury; but his guard and temper were lost altogether. A desperately wicked blow aimed at the Clift's head, though adroitly turned aside, showed the animus of the assailant, "and roused the vengeance blood alone could quell".

"Whew! bad luck to me, masther darlin', but I think ye're a rascal down-weight! so take care of your napper; for by my sowl I'll make short work of it now."

And again bounding over the plough, he attacked him with the utmost fury; and beating down his guard "Black Bess" made such acquaintance with his temples as brought him heavily to the ground. On being lifted, he thought fit to decline further discussion; and next morning bade adieu to the hospitalities of Ballinascreen.

The fame of this triumph spread rapidly over the whole country: "the ould couple" were delighted; all his acquaintances, whether at fair or market, horse-race or cock-fight, politely accorded those powers which common report so largely attributed to him; and none, save some idiot who had no regard "for whole bones in a whole skin", ever presumed to dispute their correctness.

He had now attained a degree of celebrity seldom granted to any young man in any country; and though his parents naturally triumphed in all his victories, yet with mingled regret and delight they perceived that his company began to be too much courted (as his tender mother said) "by both gentle and semple"; in fact he had become an indispensable necessary in all the field sports of the neighbouring gentry. His keen eye, his knowledge of the haunts of the game, his agility, good-nature, and sharp pungency of remark (vouchsafed with all the ease and freedom of one who recognized no superior), gave him a "status" in the sporting world that no other man could claim, and procured him the friendship of gentlemen whose intimacy greatly diverted his mind from his early pursuits &c. His more humble companions could but ill brook the loss of his society; yet were they not selfish enough to attempt to cramp his genius, or deprive him of the advantages resulting from more polished intercourse; particularly as they knew his mind was too noble, his affections too kindly, ever to forget his early attachments; besides they were philosphic enough to understand that

Our sweetest joys from pain have sprung;

and that his visits after occasional absence would be a source of deeper gratification, and would be hailed with more intense delight, than had no separation taken place. Sweets will pall upon the taste: nothing so effectually cures a morbid appetite as a low regimen or casual abstinence.

We must no longer look upon our hero as a mere lowly rustic whose exertions were to be confined to the narrow limits of Ballinascreen, where, it is true, his vast powers both of body and of mind were nursed and cherished into their present notoriety: we must contemplate him hereafter rather as a citizen of the world, bearing himself both as a philanthropist and patriot, scorning to adopt the limited views of Edmund Burke who (if we are to believe Goldsmith)

Born for the universe, narrowed his mind,
And to party gave up what was meant for mankind.

But acting upon his own correct sense of what is due by every member of society to the general body, our hero never refused the benefit of his experience, the enlightenment of his philosophic instructions, to any person, from the rag-man and the tinker through the bailiff and the yeoman (who freely admitted, though they may have little admired, the convincing arguments of Black Bess) up to the Squire and the Nobleman; who became more expert horsemen, keener and more scientific sportsmen, from the skill, dexterity, the unequalled tactique exhibited through all the exciting incidents of the chase by the indefatigable Hudy McGuigan.

This page was last updated 7 Nov 2018